On The Subject of Your Microaggression
/Dear Friends,
I see the statuses, the memes and the articles you posts. You know, the ones drenched in racial bias and discriminatory undertones. The ones meant to derail and gas-light demands for equal rights. They are particularly rampant in times when calls for human rights are featured in the headlines.
My personal dilemma is always – do I address it, or do I move on to other things?
But I am not going to skirt past it today because I don’t get to skirt on how it makes me feel.
I want to open this discourse by acknowledging that it is ALWAYS a monumental undertaking to get white people to realize when their behavior is racially insensitive. Why? It assails their self-image of being good, moral, decent human beings to accept that maybe – just maybe – at an unconscious level they have biased thoughts, attitudes and feelings that harm black people.
Now let’s start with the basic,
All acts of racism are not overt or egregious.
Some acts of racism are so subtle that the perpetrator (and sometimes even the recipient) do not entirely understand what is going on—and why it is entirely toxic. These incidents may seem small, inconsequential and trivial to the perpetrator (and members of the group to which they belong), but they have serious adverse effects on the recipient (or targeted group). I am here to address them today.
These subtle acts are what we call MICROAGGRESSIONS. Psychologists liken them to death by a thousand cuts.
The term "microaggression" was originally coined by Harvard psychiatrist Dr. Chester Pierce in the 70s and later used by
Columbia professor Derald Sue to refer to "brief and commonplace daily verbal, behavioral, or environmental indignities, whether intentional or unintentional, that communicate hostile, derogatory, or negative racial slights and insults toward people of color."
Microaggressions are pervasive and are particularly commonplace in social media exchanges. It is one of the most common way
marginalized people experience antagonism and can only be detected upon examining all of the circumstances. These examinations should include:
Contrasting how a marginalized person was treated with how others were treated in a comparable situation; and
Looking for patterns of behavior
fox news host Laura Ingraham is a perfect example of not only hypocrisy but also of microaggression, When LeBron James publicly expressed his social and political views (which she does daily) he was dismissed. however, when of a white athlete did the same she staunchly defended his position to do so.
Of course, not all comments involving race point to the existence of subtle racial discrimination.
Microaggressions may fall into one of three categories —microinsults, microinvalidations and microassaults. Here is what they are and what they may look like online:
Microassaults:
Conscious and intentional actions or slurs, such as using racial epithets, displaying swastikas or deliberately serving a white person before a person of color in a restaurant.
The word THUG means a violent criminal. However, it is loaded with social connotations far beyond its explicit meaning which explains the reason public figures use it as an insult. Chief of this is the synonymy of Blackness with criminality in America. Over the last several years, the term “thug” has become a way to describe Black males who reject or do not rise to the standard of White America. For example, NFL football player Richard Sherman was called a “thug” for his post-game interview following the National Football Conference (NFC) Championship game. While Sherman did not use vulgar language or express any feelings of violence or criminal action, his physical presence and loud voice was used to evoke the idea of “thuggery.”
Microinvalidations:
Communications that subtly exclude, negate or nullify the thoughts, feelings or experiential reality of a person of color. For instance, white people often ask Asian-Americans where they were born, conveying the message that they are perpetual foreigners in their own land.
a viral meme from summer of 2018 following france’s world cup victory. all players were born in France, live there and recognized it as their country. I pulled this meme from my newsfeed. ironically, it was shared by someone born in Cuba but is now a naturalized us citizen.
This has all the indicators of microaggression - the caption, the hashtags and the fact this was never important to user in 2019 but only important now that the focus is on a black man’s death.
The “All lives matter” rebuttal undermines the message that BLM is trying to get across — that black people in the United States are disproportionately killed by police. The fact that white people get so upset about the term black lives matter is proof that nothing can center the wellbeing and livelihoods of black
bodies without white people assuming it is to their demise.
Microinsults:
Verbal and nonverbal communications that subtly convey rudeness and insensitivity and demean a person's racial heritage or identity. An example is an employee who asks a colleague of color how she got her job, implying she may have landed it through an affirmative action or quota system.
To share this picture with the caption “Pictures says it all” is not only ridiculous it is callous and careless. The picture does not say everything about what is going on. Allow me to break it down for you bit by bit. Callous 1. The human rights protests are about the murder of a black man. Are you forgetting that MLK was murdered too? Thanks for that reminder. 2. This weekend’s protests are about the treatment of black people by law enforcement. Are you aware what took place after this picture was taken? The savagery that was wrought upon marchers at the Edmund Pettus Bridge by the police earned it the name Bloody Sunday. Careless 1. Sufficient attention or thought was not given in avoiding errors by contrasting the pictures without considering the timelines. These pictures were taken in two different periods under different dynamics. Also, one picture was taken at the beginning of a protested that turned bloody deadly and the other was taken after the current protests turn sour. 2. No concern was given to the subject of the photos. Is there only one race protesting? Is there only one race looting? The picture only serves to chastise backs. There are very fine black people protesting too. 3. There was no attempt to avoid harming the platform of the protest. There are many positive things to highlight about the protests to do otherwise is to gaslight those efforts. This meme and others like it demonstrate that historical knowledge and common decency is more sparse than we think. Isn’t it harrowing that you choose to use a picture from 55 years to illustrate how you think black people should act regarding the very same thing they were protesting then? If anything it is an argument to do something else.
How do we approach microaggression?
It’s appealing to ignore microaggressions, especially considering that blatant, overt acts of discrimination are still a real problem. However, the buildup of these “everyday slights” has debilitating consequences on the recipient’s mental and physical health. The normalization of microaggressions is adversative to a balanced society with equal opportunities for marginalized individuals.
If you have been accused of microaggression
Psychological research suggests the key to confronting biases is by exposing yourself to what makes you uncomfortable — to
different environments, different individuals, different settings, different ideas.
To that end:
Drop the defensiveness. NO ONE IS ATTACKING YOU. You are not the victim here.
Listen - if someone says you offended them. Listen to the person’s concerns. Do your best to understand the impact you had on someone else and avoid saying you didn’t mean it or you were making a joke—this can come across as making light of someone else’s pain. By saying you didn’t mean it, you can come across as trying to invalidate the other person’s experience.
Think before you speak. Verbally acknowledge that their feelings are valid and that understand that it created a negative impact.
Apologize, but do your best to not make it about your needing forgiveness. You might not get it and that’s okay.
Try to let it go and move on. These things happen and it’s important to remember we’re human and we make mistakes. It’s easy to hyper-focus on it every time you see that person, but that won’t help anyone.
Seek out books, podcasts and other media to learn about current and historical behavior and policy. It is not the victims
responsibility to educate you.
If you have ever experienced acts of microaggression
Note: You are not responsible for the ignorance of others.
The first step to addressing a microaggression is to recognize that one has occurred and dissect what
message it may be sending.
In responding, be clear that it isn’t about calling someone a racist, it’s about the specific act and/or words. You will likely hit a roadblock if you call someone a racist. If you focus on the action, you have better chance of addressing it.
Convey that this isn’t about shaming or blaming. The individual should understand that addressing how you are hurt by their action and perhaps that you value the relationship enough to have the conversation.
Ask how the person is feeling after you’ve shared the impact of their actions
Wait and listen. Know that you might not get the reaction you want. If the person is defensive or wants to make it about “having a laugh,” you can try to have a deeper conversation, but again, it’s about your comfort level.
No matter how it plays out, accept the outcome and move on. You’ve done what you can to address the issue.
Always consider self care: Learning to draw boundaries and find support among allies is one of the most important steps in dealing with microaggressions. It can be as simple as having a few friends to discuss common experience with.
It can be exhausting (and an unfair burden) having to explain microaggressions each time we encounter them. On top of the fact that they are frustrating and hurtful many white individuals think the concept of holding racial biases is a moral judgement. They feel that if they acknowledge them then they are morally bad people. So they reject that idea at all costs. However, if the person committing the microaggression is a constant in your life, it is always worth bringing it up. Ignoring it will take its toll. Each time we experiences one of these subtle slights, our body reacts. Anger and anxiety produce a stress response, and over time, chronic exposure turns these microaggressions into micro-traumas. So think about your welfare always.