Who Determines Your Success in Life?

During Labor Day weekend, Cosby Show actor Geoffrey Owens captured the attention of social media users after photos of him working as a Trader Joe’s cashier went viral.  The photos were taken by a shopper, ironically named “Karma.” She shared the photos with DailyMail who published them under the headline “From learning lines to serving the long line! The Cosby Show star Geoffrey Owens is spotted working as a cashier at Trader Joe’s in New Jersey”. Fox News picked up the images and retweeted them with the caption “Cosby Show” actor Geoffrey Owens spotted bagging groceries at NJ Trader Joe’s. 

The posts were quickly and vehemently denounced as mean-spirited; intended only to shame the actor. In a pleasant show of humanity, many came to Owen’s defense. This included numerous actors who shared stories of odd jobs and side-hustles they have maintained in-between acting gigs. This it seems, came as a surprise for many, who associate actors with lavish luxurious lifestyles. Further, it challenges the associations we ascribe to certain jobs.

Is there shame to be had in working certain jobs?

In its 2014 annual report on wages and occupational employment, the US Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) revealed that 4.6 million Americans worked in retail sales while 3.4 million more worked as cashiers, making up almost six percent of total U.S. employment. 
🤔🤔🤔
So if there is shame to be had in working a day job in retail or as a cashier then there are just about 8 million people in the US  leading shameful lives. I say, that if working a 9-5 or a side-hustle brings you to (or closer to) your financial or personal goals then there is NO shame to be had.  It is time for us to stop differentiating what kind of work we think is “honorable” and start valuing all means of earning a honest living, in whatever form they come.  

I have also given consideration to the idea that perhaps, Owens is seen as a failure. Outside of the Cosby Show he has appeared on several TV hits and has a degree from an Ivy League University.  Does his current circumstance negate his prior accomplishments or are we using his prior accomplishments to evaluate him? This lends itself to the question...

What is our measure of success?   

When we talk of successful people we usually reference those with stellar academic achievements, ownership of material status symbols and/or business proprietorship. We also attach fame to success. However, despite achieving the public attributes of educational, professional, or entrepreneurial success some fall short in other areas of their lives; hiding struggles from the world and even their family and harboring feeling of failure.  In some instances, they yearn for more because they do not feel they have achieved enough. In extreme cases these feelings may manifest as depression, anxiety and suicide.  In a follow-up interview on Good Morning America, Owen responded to his current situation and the attention he is receiving by saying, “I’ve had a great life. I’ve had a great career...so no one has to feel sorry for me.” I found relief in his response. 

Typically, success seems to be connected to material wealth and status.  It also seems to be a label the world designates to others versus a title of self-declaration. Therefore, for someone to achieve success they have to check off the items on the list that are socially associated with success; the expectations we put on them.  This, whilst everything we know to be true of personal success and contentment indicates putting our energy toward things that holds real meaning in our lives - living purposefully, intentionally and authentically. Shouldn’t our success then be linked to how we feel rather than how others feel about us?

Success therefore is relative and should be a self-proclamation rather than a social ascription.

The social recognition linked to ‘success’ does not pay the bills. It is not a retirement plan. Moreover, it is not a guarantee to personal fulfillment.  

Steps to declaring your success: 

1.      Establish your own standards of success. Rather than spending the finite years of your life striving for what is expected of you, endeavor for the things that are true to you – relationships, making a difference, or health and fitness.   For each one, find a way to measure your progress as it is meaningful to you.  Avoid judging yourself according to other people’s definitions of success.

2.      Develop resiliency. As you establish your standard of success and associate them to measures of progress you will inevitably experience setbacks or roadblocks along way. Mistakes may be made; unforeseen challenges may present themselves; things will not always go your way. Your ability to recover from (or persevere through) adverse experiences will become the ultimate determinant of your success. Some of the greatest successes resulted from the worst failures. Winston Churchill said, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts.” Do not give up on yourself if things do not go as plan. You may simply need to revise your plan. 

Decide on your own measures of success. Own them. And commit to living them today. 

I think; therefore, I am…Successful!